New Englanders is known for its charm, but its inhabitants are not. I find this is true particularly in the boston area. People are always talking about how rude the city is and how angry the drivers are. I assumed all big cities were like that.
Living on the North Shore of Boston, I encounter the same unfriendliness that I do in the city. I have jogged by young mothers, with toddlers in tow, turned to smile at them, only to have them turn away from me like they were afraid of me kidnapping their little ones. I am a 21 year old white female, with freckles and big eyes. I have no scary piercings or tattoos and I don't dress in all black. It's not just the young moms that avoid making eye contact with me. I have experienced so many people avoiding my smile, that I'm rather shocked to receive a smile in return.
I experience this in every sector of life. When I go to the mall or grocery store, I usually am the first to offer a "hi, how are you?" when approaching a sales associate or while being rung up. This is true even in places where they're working on commission. I don't go to those stores anymore.
When I take the train into the city, unless it is absolutely necessary, no one sits next to each other. No one. I have seen people walk through three train cars to look for an empty row. The same is true of the subway. I will see ten people standing up and five empty seats. Call me crazy, but I don't think strangers are that intimidating. I think though, if I were to ever sit next to someone on the train while there were other rows available, my seat-mate would fear I was mentally unstable and change seats.
What prompted me to compile all these observations was my recent trip to New York City. Because I'm used to going to Boston, I consider myself to be very city-smart and know that people don't like people that they don't know talking to them. So I attempted to decipher the subway system on my own. After leading my family the wrong direction twice, they started just asking other people for help with directions. Oddly enough, people didn't seem bothered. They actually seemed more than happy to help. One girl even looked up the neighborhood we were staying in on a crime map app she had when my mom asked if she knew anything about it. What was most astounding to me was when we were just discussing our general plans and destination stop on the subway and those around us, who overheard, would ask us where were going and confirm that we were indeed going to the correct stop.
This never happens in Boston. Ever. I would like to be that kind of person that smiled at everyone I passed, struck up conversations on the train with those around me, made friends with my barista, but I also don't want to be permanently marked as an anomaly.
Just today I was at a graduation party where I knew at least thirty people, but no of them greeted me except for a woman whose name I couldn't even remember. I thought about starting the conversation myself, but after a half hour of feeling quite awkward and conversing briefly with one other person, my sewing project at home grew more and more appealing and I politely told that graduate that I had plans and needed to leave.
Am I the only one that sees something wrong about this way of life? Is this just how it is here, or are there some other brave souls out there that would like to challenge the status quo and join me in reaching out to those around us? Dare I say it? Let's be friendly in Boston.
